my inspiration + the beginning of an actual idea

 So I'm a mess right now. I'm a little (a lot) behind on my blogs. My season ends this upcoming week so that will make managing my work a lot easier. I truly am excited to work on this project, honestly I find myself thinking about it pretty often. I have an idea, it's actually one that I've been wanting to act on for a while. 

So, as I've mentioned (a LOT), I'm an athlete. I always have been, I've played some kind of sport all my life. It's just a part of me. And whether it's in media or just my morals or whatever, it clearly inspires me a ton. Right now, I am a wrestler. I've been super fortunate to be surrounded by people who inspire me everyday. Anyways, I've had the idea for a while but a coach of mine gave me a title. 

The idea was always super rough but I wanted to do a story about an athlete who lets their sport consume them, to a point where their mental health is determined by their performance, which inevitably destroys them. 

My inspiration for the title came from a coach of mine, Matt. He was a wrestler at our school a few years ago and was just naturally good, didn't really need to put much effort. He waited 2 weeks from states of his senior year to actually take it serious, and after one hell of a highschool career he got 2nd. He was the #1 ranked wrestler (at 220 lbs) in the state of Florida and ended his career with a loss he could have avoided had he started putting in effort earlier on. That's where I got the idea for the title, "Runner Up."

The actual "plot" however doesn't come from his story. I want to do a story about someone a bit more dedicated (no offense to Coach Matt lol). I've seen what passion can do to someone, how hard work will ALWAYS beat "talent." You can be a natural athlete or violin prodigy but not practicing or putting effort into your hobby is just a waste. I see this in myself to be honest. When I am passionate about something, it becomes my everything. I eat, sleep, breathe whatever it is that I'm fixated on. I sometimes have unintentionally cut ties to other aspects or people in my life when this happens, it's almost like I become addicted. I want this film intro to be the beginning of a story about someone who pours their entire life into their sport, and how despite all that work it isn't enough, their high school career ends with a loss. It ends with them being 2nd best. 

In terms of the actual PROJECT I think doing the story about a wrestler (as opposed to another sport, which was an idea I was open to) would be easiest as the resources are more accessible. We have a mat room I'm sure my coaches would let me use to film in, and I bet I could even get someone on the team to act in it. Although upon really considering it... I might have to search for people who can ACTUALLY act. I haven't written a script/storyboarded just yet but I like the idea of doing a training montage with flashback scenes to the match the main character lost. 

I'm currently trying to use youtube to find an example of the montage + flashback combo I'm imagining.. it's hard to search for exactly what I want. In my search, I recalled on director Jean-Marc Vallée's use of flashbacks in Big Little Lies. I was trying to refresh my mind on the style when I found this video essay reflection about season 1. (I'll insert the link below; it looked weird when I tried to embed it.)

-> Big Little Lies: Video Essay

While I knew this prior to watching the video, I can't use this kind of flashback for my own project. 

For starters, Big Little Lies is a show.. giving it a LOT more time to develop characters. In the video essay, it mentions a lot about how "these kinds of scenes are normally cut" from other shows due to run time. The kinds of flashbacks often used in this series are very slow paced and are all about the character's thoughts on an event. Like in the first example the video talks about, (Celeste having flashbacks in her car about her husband Perry abusing her), the character is literally just sitting there. Reflection is a huge part of these characters, the director makes it seem almost relatable in the way he shows characters replaying moments in their mind, like how you might replay an argument after the fact in the shower. Valee uses literal mirrors to show the characters reflecting back on events.

When I imagine how I want to do my flashbacks however, they're much more abrupt. I want to make the audience feel the regret that the main character does when looking back on their loss. Like they're stuck with a constant loop of every mistake they made in the back of your mind. It isn't really a moment of reflection like "oh this just happened how do I feel," its more harsh than that.. more like "why did I do that," "how'd I let that happen," "I'm such a failure." The character replays that final match, that final loss, over and over and over and over again. All their plans ruined over one match. Funny enough, most would think 2nd place is something to be proud of; trust me.. it's not that good. It's pretty horrible actually, like just shoving in your face " you're good!.. just not good ENOUGH." Constantly pushing yourself to an insane standard of being good enough, just to fall short when it matters most. THAT is the feeling I want to express, I want the audience to feel the self-hatred the main character has for themself.  

In terms of the actual montage+flashback scene, I think I can use quick cuts in the middle of a training scene to show the feeling thats fueling the intense pace being pushed. I need to rewatch again to make sure I'm remembering it properly, but I think something like the training montage in Halle Bailey's Bruised could work.